Crime in Rhyme
by Ennui Enigma
Summary: The following compilation is blamed on a lack of sleep and a deplorable sense of rhythm and rhyme. (And apparently a dearth of frontal lobe inhibition too.) Read at your own risk!
1. Chapter 1 - There Was A Detective

The following verses are to be blamed on a lack of sleep and a deplorable sense of rhythm and rhyme. I can only hope that you'll find one or two which make you smile!

Thanks to AlesNox, examples of a more respectable nature, also inspired by childhood nursery literature, may be found in the community "Childhood-in-a-Nutshell".

community/Childhood-in-a-Nutshell/103272/

* * *

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with most of the original authors._

* * *

**There Was A Detective**

There was a detective who lived in a flat

He solved many cases always catching the rat!

His brain became bored; He had not a clue;

So he shot at the wall, wanting something to do!

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "There Was An Old Woman"_

_There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,_

_She had so many children she didn't know what to do!_

_So she gave them some broth without any bread,_

_And she whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed!_


	2. Chapter 2 - A Wise Old Man

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**A Wise Old Man**

A wise old John was a fine bloke

The more he saw the less he spoke

The less he spoke the more he heard.

Why can't Sherlock be like that wise old man?

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "A Wise Old Owl" (how many remember mummy quoting this one to you as a kid?!)_

_A wise old owl lived in an oak_

_The more he saw the less he spoke_

_The less he spoke the more he heard._

_Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?_


	3. Chapter 3 - Kazakhstan

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Kazakhstan**

Sherlock and John

Went to Kazakhstan,

In a flurry of snow.

They went under cover

Precious gem to recover

With thief in frozen ice flow!

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on Doctor Foster (13th Century)_

_Doctor Foster_

_Went to Gloucester_

_In a shower of rain._

_He stepped in a puddle_

_Right up to his middle_

_And never went there again!_


	4. Chapter 4 - John's Hot Buns

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**John's Hot Buns**

John's hot buns! John's hot buns!

One he baked in an oven – John's hot buns

If you want to take a bite, count your twos and ones

One goes into oven; two stays out of oven – John's hot buns

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "Hot Cross Buns"_

_Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns!_

_One a penny two a penny - Hot cross buns_

_If you have no daughters, give them to your sons_

_One a penny two a penny - Hot cross buns_


	5. Chapter 5 - Sherlock Sherlock

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Sherlock, Sherlock**

Sherlock, Sherlock, you who mock,

How does your research go?

With evil men and sordid crimes

And villains still in the show.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "Mary Mary Quite Contrary" (A very old poem. Be glad the true meaning is long since forgotten or this wouldn't be a poem for the kiddies!)_

_Mary Mary quite contrary,_

_How does your garden grow?_

_With silver bells and cockle shells_

_And pretty maids all in a row._


	6. Chapter 6 - The BBC and Sherlock

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**The BBC and Sherlock**

The BBC is a very fine station; a very fine station is it;

It puts on the air most things factual and fair

Reaching folk even out of Great Brit.

Even Sherlock hasn't a quibble, and a superb quibbler is he;

So take it from me or take it from he;

Sherlock and John like BBC.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "Old King Cole" (3rd century)_

_Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he;_

_He called for his pipe in the middle of the night_

_And he called for his fiddlers three._

_Every fiddler had a fine fiddle, and a very fine fiddle had he;_

_Oh there's none so rare as can compare_

_With King Cole and his fiddlers three._


	7. Chapter 7 - Fine Tea Drinker

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Sherlock Sherlock Fine Tea Drinker**

Sherlock Sherlock fine tea drinker,

Had a skull without a thinker

Put its bones on a shelf,

He'd captured the man by himself!

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater" (American Origins)_

_Peter Peter pumpkin eater,_

_Had a wife and couldn't keep her!_

_He put her in a pumpkin shell,_

_And there he kept her very well!_


	8. Chapter 8 - Believe Believe

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Believe Believe**

Believe, do believe, the truth about Sherlock

Moriarty fell dead on the spot.

There isn't a reason that in mid-season,

Another should be sought…

~o~

* * *

_Based on the classic British verse repeated to remember the events of November 5, 1605_

_Remember remember the fifth of November_

_Gunpowder, treason and plot._

_I see no reason why gunpowder, treason_

_Should ever be forgot..._


	9. Chapter 9 - The Crooked Woman

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**The Crooked Woman**

There was a crooked lady and she stepped a crooked dance,

She found a crooked partner upon a crooked chance.

She did a crooked deed, and wore a crooked blouse.

And they all played together in a fancy crooked house.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "The Crooked Man"_

_There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,_

_He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile._

_He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse._

_And they all lived together in a little crooked house_


	10. Chapter 10 - Life Doth Ebb and Flow

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**The Tide Doth Ebb and Flow**

Life's tide doth ebb and flow with little gain to show,

So what will poor victim do then, poor thing?

He'll go and consult at 221B

And lay his case before The Brain, poor thing.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "The North Wind Doth Blow" (16th century verse)_

_The North wind doth blow and we shall have snow,_

_And what will poor robin do then, poor thing?_

_He'll sit in a barn and keep himself warm_

_And hide his head under his wing, poor thing._


	11. Chapter 11 - The Doc And The Detective

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**The Doc and the Detective**

The Doc and the Detective went to see

A movie with castle and moat,

They bought their tickets, and left the crickets,

Chirping loudly on half a musical note.

~o~

The Doc gazed at the screen above,

And said with a sincere heart,

"Fantastic! Amazing! Is that a glove?

What a brilliant genius so smart, so smart, yes smart,

What a brilliant genius, so smart."

~o~

Detective said to the Doc "My trustworthy friend,

How simple you are to impress.

But let us watch movie, it's supposed to be groovy;

Or would you rather play chess?"

~o~

They continued to view, for more than an hour,

The castle moat where green moss grows,

And there in the theater crimes displayed

But the Dectective he knows, he knows, he knows,

The Detective he already knows.

~o~

"Dear Doc, are you willing to bet on the ending a coin?"

Said the Doctor, "I am."

So they made their deductions and waited next scene

With danger and crime and a thrill.

~o~

After the movie, they settled their bet,

Which the Doc surprisingly won.

Then eye to eye, and mind against mind.

They returned to the chase on the run, the run, the run,

They returned to the chase on the run.

* * *

_A/N: Based on "The Owl and the Pussycat"_

_The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea_

_In a beautiful pea-green boat,_

_They took some honey, and plenty of money,_

_Wrapped up in a five pound note._

_The Owl looked up to the stars above,_

_And sang to a small guitar,_

_"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,_

_What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,_

_What a beautiful Pussy you are."_

_Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,_

_How charmingly sweet you sing._

_O let us be married, too long we have tarried;_

_But what shall we do for a ring?"_

_They sailed away, for a year and a day,_

_To the land where the Bong-tree grows,_

_And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood_

_With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,_

_With a ring at the end of his nose._

_"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"_

_Said the Piggy, "I will"_

_So they took it away, and were married next day_

_By the Turkey who lives on the hill._

_They dined on mince, and slices of quince,_

_Which they ate with a runcible spoon._

_And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand._

_They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,_

_They danced by the light of the moon._

_By Edward Lear, 1871_


	12. Chapter 12 - John John

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**John John**

John John the game is on

Corpse is gone and Sherlock's mad

It's quite a feat to see him beat

But John will bring said corpse to meet

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "Tom Tom The Pipers Son"_

_Tom Tom the pipers son_

_Stole a pig and away he ran,_

_The pig was eat and Tom was beat_

_And Tom went roaring down the street._


	13. Chapter 13 - Three Pipes Three Patches

Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors.

* * *

**Three Pipes Three Patches**

Three wood pipes, three clay pipes,

Smoke swirling up, smoke swirling up,

The law cracked down on the air pollution,

Cigar and pipe and their rank devolution,

Did you ever see those things without matches,

Those three patch-es?

~o~

* * *

_Three Blind Mice (apparently the 'farmer's wife' refers to Bloody Mary, wife of King Henry VIII.)_

_Three blind mice, three blind mice,_

_See how they run, see how they run,_

_They all ran after the farmer's wife,_

_Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,_

_Did you ever see such a thing in your life,_

_As three blind mice?_


	14. Chapter 14 - Who Killed Sherlock Holmes

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Who Killed Sherlock Holmes**

"Who killed Sherlock Holmes?" "I," said Moriarty,

"With my evil scheming party, I killed Sherlock Holmes."

~o~

"Who saw him die?" "I," said the Doc,

"I saw his head upon the rock, I saw him die."

~o~

"Who caught his blood?" "I," said Molly,

"Upon the morgue's trolley, I caught his blood."

~o~

"Who'll buy the shroud?" "I," said Mrs. Hudson,

"He saved me from abduction, I'll buy the shroud."

~o~

"Who'll dig his grave?" "I," said the Hound,

"With my claws to the ground, I'll dig his grave."

~o~

"Who'll be the parson?" "I," said Lestrade,

"In many cases he's given aid, I'll be the parson."

~o~

Who'll be the clerk?" "I," said Anthea,

"I'll use my phone's media, I'll be the clerk."

~o~

"Who'll light the way?" "I," said Irene,

"His mystery made me keen, I'll light the way."

~o~

"Who'll be chief mourner?" "I," said Mycroft,

"I'll weep for him oft, I'll be chief mourner."

~o~

"Who'll carry the coffin?" "I," said Dimmock,

"The Yard and I are still in shock, we'll carry the coffin."

~o~

"Who'll bear the pall?" "We," said Sally,

"We'll be at his finale, we'll bear the pall."

~o~

"Who'll sing a psalm?" "I," said Harry,

"He helped my John be merry, I'll sing a psalm."

~o~

"Who'll toll the bell?" "I," said his John,

"My dearest friend is gone, I'll toll the bell."

~o~

All the friends of Sherlock Holmes were heartbroken and reflective,

They sat and cried o'er the fall of their detective.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on an old English Folksong, "Who Killed Cock Robin" (Refers to Robin Hood)_

_"Who killed Cock Robin?" "I," said the Sparrow,_

_"With my bow and arrow, I killed Cock Robin."_

_"Who saw him die?" "I," said the Fly,_

_"With my little eye, I saw him die."_

_"Who caught his blood?" "I," said the Fish,_

_"With my little dish, I caught his blood."_

_"Who'll make the shroud?" "I," said the Beetle,_

_"With my thread and needle, I'll make the shroud."_

_"Who'll dig his grave?" "I," said the Owl,_

_"With my pick and shovel, I'll dig his grave."_

_"Who'll be the parson?" "I," said the Rook,_

_"With my little book, I'll be the parson."_

_"Who'll be the clerk?" "I," said the Lark,_

_"If it's not in the dark, I'll be the clerk."_

_"Who'll carry the link?" "I," said the Linnet,_

_"I'll fetch it in a minute, I'll carry the link."_

_"Who'll be chief mourner?" "I," said the Dove,_

_"I mourn for my love, I'll be chief mourner."_

_"Who'll carry the coffin?" "I," said the Kite,_

_"If it's not through the night, I'll carry the coffin."_

_"Who'll bear the pall? "We," said the Wren,_

_"Both the cock and the hen, we'll bear the pall."_

_"Who'll sing a psalm?" "I," said the Thrush,_

_"As she sat on a bush, I'll sing a psalm."_

_"Who'll toll the bell?" "I," said the bull,_

_"Because I can pull, I'll toll the bell."_

_All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing,_

_When they heard the bell toll for poor Cock Robin._


	15. Chapter 15 - Mycroft

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Mycroft**

Call that cocky arse to a stranger case

To see her fine corpse without a nice face,

With rings on his smart phone and shiny new shoes

He'll have umbrella wherever he goes.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on the old nursery rhyme, To Banbury Cross._

_Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross_

_To see a fine lady upon a white horse_

_With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes_

_She shall have music wherever she goes_


	16. Chapter 16 - Sing a Song of Sherlock

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Sing a Song of Sherlock**

Sing a song of Sherlock, so tragically he fell,

But multitudes of villains he now would quell.

~o~

When his death went public, some did dance and sing

"Oh wasn't that a nasty trick to fell Consulting King!"

~o~

Sherlock wandered far and wide, fighting every foe,

John wept a long long time, writing tale of woe.

~o~

One fateful day Sherlock came back

Surprised and angry John attacked.

~o~

Both were stunned, pained, and shocked,

They hadn't even talked.

~o~

Finally, John relenting proffered hand, its meaning being plain,

When Sherlock took that offered hand, both began to live again.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based very loosely on "Sing a Song of Sixpence"_

_Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,_

_Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie._

_When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,_

_Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?_

_The king was in his counting house counting out his money,_

_The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey_

_The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,_

_When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!_

_ "There was such a commotion that little Jenny Wren_

_Flew down from the tree tops and popped it on again"_


	17. Chapter 17 - The Blind Observers

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**The Blind Observers**

There were six men of London

Prone to talk and speculation,

Who spoke of the Detective

(In idle observation),

And sought by their deductions

To bring self-adulation.

~o~

The first to speak of the Detective,

Was his somber, older brother.

"He's a spoiled, impulsive child,

Sulks when praise goes to another.

"Palace in a sheet? The Detective

Needs me like a mother!"

~o~

The Second, having known him long,

Cried, "A great man is he,

He might even be a good one!

Oh yes, 'tis clear to me

This wonder of a Detective

Is too much a machine."

~o~

The Third was actually two in one,

Both having been rebuffed,

"Psychopath!" he said.

"And freak!" she huffed.

"You see," quoth they, "the Detective

Is like an adder puffed!"

~o~

The Fourth explained with admiration,

As she sat in luxury.

"A clever man; an enigma of

Creation," quoth she.

"It is this brainy Detective

That is sexy, I see!"

~o~

The Fifth, a bit more complicated,

Said, "This man begins to annoy.

Although the games we play amuse me,

I can't delay my ploy.

It will throw out the Detective

Like discarded toy!"

~o~

The Sixth refused to speak at all

About his flat mate friend,

Beneath sharp sarcastic scorn

A frail genius did contend.

"Sherlock," said he, "the Detective

Is one I'll but defend.

~o~

And so these folk of London

Argued on and on,

Each with his perspective

Unyielding, rigid, strong,

Though each was partly in the right,

All were in the wrong!

~o~

The Moral of the Rhyme:

So oft in fandom fiction wars,

They pen in contradiction

Go on in bitter ignorance

Of 'IC' depiction,

And rant about a Detective

Who doth live in fiction!

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on a poem by John Godfrey Saxe (19th century) "The Elephant Rhyme"_

_It was six men of Indostan_

_To learning much inclined,_

_Who went to see the Elephant_

_(Though all of them were blind),_

_That each by observation_

_Might satisfy his mind_

_ The First approached the Elephant,_

_And happening to fall_

_Against his broad and sturdy side,_

_At once began to bawl:_

_"God bless me! but the Elephant_

_Is very like a wall!"_

_The Second, feeling of the tusk,_

_Cried, "Ho! what have we here_

_So very round and smooth and sharp?_

_To me 'tis mighty clear_

_This wonder of an Elephant_

_Is very like a spear!"_

_The Third approached the animal,_

_And happening to take_

_The squirming trunk within his hands,_

_Thus boldly up and spake:_

_"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant_

_Is very like a snake!"_

_The Fourth reached out an eager hand,_

_And felt about the knee._

_"What most this wondrous beast is like_

_Is mighty plain," quoth he;_

_" 'Tis clear enough the Elephant_

_Is very like a tree!"_

_The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,_

_Said: "E'en the blindest man_

_Can tell what this resembles most;_

_Deny the fact who can_

_This marvel of an Elephant_

_Is very like a fan!"_

_The Sixth no sooner had begun_

_About the beast to grope,_

_Than, seizing on the swinging tail_

_That fell within his scope,_

_"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant_

_Is very like a rope!"_

_And so these men of Indostan_

_Disputed loud and long,_

_Each in his own opinion_

_Exceeding stiff and strong,_

_Though each was partly in the right,_

_And all were in the wrong!_

_The Moral of the Elephant Rhyme:_

_So oft in theologic wars,_

_The disputants, I ween,_

_Rail on in utter ignorance_

_Of what each other mean,_

_And prate about an Elephant_

_Not one of them has seen!_

_-John Godfrey Saxe (19__th__ century)_


	18. Chapter 18 - Ring Ring

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Ring Ring**

Ring! Ring! It's Sherlock's phone,

John can't suppress a groan.

"Oh no! God, no! It can't be!"

Sherlock's fallen Prone!

~o~

(If only John had known)

~o~

* * *

_Based on a very old rhyme usually known as "Ring Around The Rosy"_

_Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies_

_A Pocket full of Posies_

_"A-tishoo! A-tishoo!"_

_We all fall Down!_


	19. Chapter 19 - Monkey Tails and Tiger Toes

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Monkey Tails And Tiger Toes**

Monkey tails and tiger toes

The Colonel shall need a new master

He shall shoot but without any pay

For the boss has killed himself faster.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on a strange nursery rhyme called "Seesaw Margery Daw"_

_Seesaw Margery Daw_

_Johnny shall have a new master_

_He shall earn but a penny a day_

_Because he can't work any faster_


	20. Chapter 20 - Moriarty

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Moriarty**

Cunning Moriarty upon a throne he be

Up came Scotland Yard and down went he;

Down came Sherlock quick, now man to man;

Taunts crazy Moriarty, "Catch me if you can."

~o~

Clever Moriarty popped into a cell,

Sherlock popped next to him and almost stayed a spell;

Moriarty sang a riddle and what did Sherlock say?

Sherlock didn't answer and Moriarty strolled away.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on "Little Robin Red Breast"_

_Little Robin Red breast sat upon a tree,_

_Up went pussy cat and down went he;_

_Down came pussy, and away Robin ran;_

_Says little Robin Red breast, "Catch me if you can"._

_Little Robin Red breast jumped upon a wall,_

_Pussy cat jumped after him and almost got a fall;_

_Little Robin chirped and sang, and what did pussy say?_

_Pussy cat said, "Meeow!" and Robin jumped away._


	21. Chapter 21 - Mrs Hudson

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Mrs. Hudson**

She wasn't a housekeeper; she was our kind landlady,

She left his bag of thumbs alone although not really gladly.

~o~

She tolerated our strange habits, visitors, experiments, all,

And barely raised an eyebrow when Sherlock shot the wall.

~o~

She worried like a mother and often brewed us tea,

Dear Mrs. Hudson is a saint as you can clearly see!

* * *

_A/N: Based on "A Little Hen"_

_I had a little hen, the prettiest ever seen,_

_She washed up the dishes and kept the house clean._

_She went to the mill to fetch us some flour,_

_And always got home in less than an hour._

_She baked me my bread, she brewed me my ale,_

_She sat by the fire and told a fine tale!_


	22. Chapter 22 - Toady Anderson

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**This silly poem was inspired by MapleleafCameo and her hilarious story "Warts and All". Check it out: s/8623828/1/Warts-and-All**

* * *

**Toady Anderson**

Anderson felt crummy and croaked to mummy,

"John turned me into a toad, green and warty.

Now my legs hurt from hopping as shortie."

~o~

Eyebrow raised, Mum replied, "You don't say?"

Then called his shrink to come right away.

~o~

* * *

A/N: Original nursery rhyme is " Little Tommy Tucker".

Little Tommy Tucker sings for his supper,

What shall we give him? Brown bread and butter.

How shall he cut it without a knife?

How shall he marry without a wife?


	23. Chapter 23 - Crime King of London

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**A/N: I know the nursery rhyme bug has bitten a lot of folk recently. They are rather addicting, aren't they? Just a few more to get out of my system so I can concentrate on other things. A 13 hour flight across the pond and continent of Africa gave me quite a bit of time to write these!**

* * *

**The Crime King of London**

The Cruel Crime King of London had

ten thousand men,

He played them all to his best advantage

He played and took advantage.

~o~

When they were good, they were good

And when they were bad, they were bad

And when their time was all used up

They were dead, not good nor bad.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on an old rhyme referring to Richard, Duke of York, and the Battle of Wakefield, 1460._

_The Grand old Duke of York he had ten thousand men_

_He marched them up to the top of the hill_

_And he marched them down again._

_When they were up, they were up_

_And when they were down, they were down_

_And when they were only halfway up_

_They were neither up nor down. _


	24. Chapter 24 - Half a Clue & Miny Moe

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Half a Clue**

Half a clue in fingerprint blood

Half a hair in Bangkok

That's the way his mind must work,

Ha! Goes the Sherlock.

~o~

Up and down the London streets

In and round the night block

That's the way his mind must work,

Ha! Goes the Sherlock.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Pop Goes The Weasel is thought to be written in the 1700s. Cockney slang. 'Eagle' referred to local Pub. Weasel referred to a coat or suit. Pop means to pawn._

_Half a pound of tuppenny rice,_

_Half a pound of treacle._

_That's the way the money goes,_

_Pop! goes the weasel._

_Up and down the City road,_

_In and out the Eagle,_

_That's the way the money goes,_

_Pop! goes the weasel._

_~o~_

* * *

~o~

**Eeny Meeny Miny Moe**

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe, who shall I throw?

Upstairs, downstairs, I lost count long ago.

When I found Ms. Hudson hurt I punched away his grins

And tossed him out the window upon her rubbish bins.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Original dates back to 16__th__ century when Catholic priests hid in secret rooms to avoid persecution._

_Goosey Goosey Gander where shall I wander,_

_Upstairs, downstairs and in my lady's chamber_

_There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers,_

_I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs._


	25. Kettle On & Diddle Diddle Dumpling

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Sherlock Put The Kettle On**

Sherlock put the kettle on

The kettle on

The kettle on

Sherlock put the kettle on

A cup of brew for tea.

~o~

John took the kettle off

The kettle off

The kettle off

John took the kettle off

Strange bugs in brew we see

~o~

Now the moral of this rhyme seems clear to me

Check inside the kettle BEFORE you brew your tea!

~o~

* * *

A/N: Published in 1797 after the author observed his girls pretending to have a make-believe tea party in order to get their brothers to go away.

Polly put the kettle on,

Polly put the kettle on,

Polly put the kettle on,

We'll all have tea.

Sukey take it off again,

Sukey take it off again,

Sukey take it off again,

They've all gone away.

~o~

* * *

**Diddle Diddle Dumpling**

Diddle, diddle, dumpling my Sherlock,

Went to palace with one sheet on;

Pants were off, and wrapper on,

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my Sherlock!

~o~

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my friend John,

Went to bed with his jumper on;

One sock off, and one sock on,

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my friend John!

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Based on the very old rhyme "Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling"._

_Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,_

_Went to bed with his trousers on;_

_One shoe off, and one shoe on,_

_Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John!_

**_A/N: Anyone with ideas for alternate wording on the phrase, 'diddle, diddle, dumpling'?_**


	26. Holidays R Coming & Join the Chase

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Holidays Are Coming**

Holidays are coming, the fans are on the 'net

Please put a good word in for Sherlock's set;

If you haven't got a good word, then a fair word will stick,

If you haven't got a fair word, well, write fan fic!

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Supposedly a poem to teach children charity._

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat

Please to put a penny in the old man's hat;

If you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do,

If you haven't got a ha'penny then God bless you!

~o~

* * *

**Sherlock and John**

Sherlock and John come join the chase,

The victim's in the middle no phone or pink case.

So where's the cab who took victim in pink?

He's waiting for Sherlock pill to drink.

Will he take it? No, and yet – if but he tries, John's still a threat.

~o~

* * *

_Based on "Little Boy Blue"_

_Little Boy Blue come blow your horn,_

_The sheep's in the meadow the cow's in the corn._

_But where's the boy who looks after the sheep?_

_He's under a haystack fast asleep._

_Will you wake him? No, not I - for if I do, he's sure to cry_


	27. The Bell Does Ding & For Want of a Clock

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**For Want of a Clock**

For want of a clock Stamford was lost.

For want of Stamford a flat mate was lost.

For want of a flat mate a friend was lost.

For want of a friend our John was lost.

For want of this John Sherlock was lost.

And all for the want of an alarm clock.

~o~

* * *

Earliest printed copy of this rhyme dates to John Gower's " Confesio Amantis", 1390.

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.

For want of a shoe the horse was lost.

For want of a horse the rider was lost.

For want of a rider the battle was lost.

For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

~o~

* * *

**The Bell Does Ding**

Ring! Ring! the bell does ding,

The Yard has come to Baker Street,

Some are glad and some are mad

One has umbrella complete.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Rhyme harkens back to the 13__th__ century when propaganda was brought by traveling minstrels._

_Hark hark the dogs do bark_

_The beggars are coming to town_

_Some in rags and some in jags_

_And one in a velvet gown._


	28. Two Consultants & Fly Away Home

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Two Clever Consultants**

Two clever consultants standing on a roof,

One named Sherlock, one named Jim.

Fly away Sherlock, fly away Jim,

Come back Sherlock, stay back Jim!

~o~

* * *

_Two Little Dicky Birds poem_

_Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall,_

_One named Peter, one named Paul._

_Fly away Peter, fly away Paul,_

_Come back Peter, come back Paul!_

_~o~_

* * *

**Fly Away Home**

Consulting Detective fly away home,

Your name's in the paper and your enemies won,

All except one and that's crazy Jim,

He lies on the roof; dead, bloody, grim.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Some speculate the original poem refers to the Great Fire of London in 1666._

_Ladybird ladybird fly away home,_

_Your house in on fire and your children are gone,_

_All except one and that's little Ann,_

_For she crept under the frying pan._


	29. Dreams

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Dreams**

I think that there shall never be

A form as pallid as are thee

~o~

A ghost whose hungry mouth is pressed

Against my flesh and warming blood

~o~

A soul that looks at God all day

And closes icy eyes to pray

~o~

A form that may in Heaven wear

A robe of satin and camel hair

~o~

Upon whose bosom pale I've lain

And in vision forgotten pain

~o~

Ghosts are seen by those like me

But only God can touch now thee

~o~

* * *

_TREES by Joyce Kilmer published in 1914_

_I think that I shall never see_

_A poem lovely as a tree_

_A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed_

_Against the earth's sweet flowing breast_

_A tree that looks at God all day_

_And lifts her leafy arms to pray_

_A tree that may in summer wear_

_A next of robins in her hair_

_Upon whose bosom snow has lain_

_Who intimately lives with rain._

_Poems are made by fools like me_

_But only God can make a tree._


	30. Hush a bye John & John B Quick

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**John Run Quick**

John run quickly

John shoot straight

John save Sherlock

From danger great!

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Thought to refer to Black Jack, an English pirate in the 16__th__ century._

_Jack be nimble_

_Jack be quick_

_Jack jump over_

_The candlestick._

_~o~_

* * *

**Hush a bye John**

Hush, my friend, John, tears on tomb top,

Though my blood flowed my love cannot stop,

Though body failed this love will endure,

While your tears are falling, love finds a cure.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: Reportedly an American rhyme referring to the practice of Indian moms suspending their baby in birch cradles in the tree branches._

_Rock a bye baby on the tree top,_

_When the wind blows the cradle will rock,_

_When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,_

_And down will come baby, cradle and all._


	31. Chapter 31 - Left Behind

**A/N: One rarely hears of the good Doctor Watson's work in caring for patients in ACD canon. Holmes seems to be almost unaware that his best friend and flatmate might have a life outside of traipsing after him on all his criminal investigations. What if Watson suffered from a few of his own inner demons? What if one day had a decision to make - to treat a sick patient with a deadly contagion or to let that patient die? **

**POV: Sherlock Holmes**

**Warning: rather angsty**

* * *

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me._

* * *

LEFT BEHIND

It's the one who stays; who suffers left behind

Empty, lonely, sad, and filled with regret

The flutter of his heartbeat, now lives untwined

~o~

A brilliant nova with such potential undefined

Proud, I thought I knew my friend, but yet

It's the one who stays; who suffers left behind

~o~

How could I've been so cold ignorant blind?

To miss his clues of that his inner threat

The flutter of his heartbeat, now lives untwined

~o~

He chose in that brief moment to help mankind

As doctor, he knew the consequences he'd beget

It's the one who stays; who suffers left behind

~o~

His end came quickly; quietly he resigned

His brilliance left in me an empty silhouette

The flutter of his heartbeat, now lives untwined

~o~

If only I'd been a friend, listening and aligned

He was too bright, burned out in our duet

It's the one who stays; who suffers left behind

The flutter of his heartbeat, now lives untwined

~o~


	32. Chapter 32 - The Sherlock & Parsley

**_Once again I find myself rambling into the criminal realm of altering perfectly good nursery rhymes to fit silly little imaginations about my favorite duo, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson. Thank you to mrspencil for her suggestion on the ending to the first poem :-)_**

* * *

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

The Sherlock

Oh Sherlock's coming in his scarf of blue

With moonlit features and with eyes of dew

So calm your troubled heart and hide your tear

The strange detective, he is your light-year

~o~

The starry mind 'tis a moonlit night

That solves the case by his logic bright

~o~

So bear your cares up those seventeen stairs.

~o~

* * *

_A/N: based on "The Sandman"_

_The Sandman's coming in his train of cars_

_With moonbeam windows and with wheels of stars_

_So hush you little ones and have no fear_

_The man-in-the-moon he is the engineer_

_~o~_

_The railroad track tis a moonbeam bright_

_That leads right up into the starry night_

_~o~_

_So put on you 'jamas and say your prayers._

_~o~_

* * *

The Parsley

Lestrade's in a thither

For the cook has ran off,

His secret's gone hither

He's left but burnt pilaf.

~o~

Holmes looked round the scene

Smoking dish and cooking clutter,

Then he said, " Why Watson,

The solution is quite green -

It's the parsley in the butter!"

~o~

* * *

_a/n: based on the following nursery rhyme:_

_Miss Jane had a bag_

_And a mouse was in it,_

_She opened the bag_

_He was out in a minute_

_The Cat saw him jump_

_And run under the table_

_And the dog said,_

_"Catch him, puss!"_

_Soon as you're able_


	33. Chapter 33 - Queen o Hearts, Crime Frigh

**a/n: inspired by A Scandal in Bohemia and A Scandal in Belgravia**

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

The Queen of Disguise

The Queen of Disguise she took some pics all on a stately tour;

The Knave of Fools he viewed the pics and saw he'd been unwise.

The King of Deduction searched for the pics and tricked the Queen with smoke

The Knave of Fools ne'er got the pics and vowed no more to joke.

~o~

* * *

_Based, of course, on the familiar rhyme, 'The Queen of Hearts'_

_The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer's day;_

_The Knave of Hearts he stole the tarts and took them clean away._

_The King of Hearts called for the tarts and beat the Knave full sore_

_The Knave of Hearts brought back the tarts and_

_vowed he'd steal no more._

_ ~o~_

* * *

Crime Fright

Crime plight Crime fright

The worst crime I saw last night,

In dream I had, in dream made knight,

Such a dream, I dread 'good night'.

* * *

_Based on the little rhyme "Star Light"_

_Star Light Star bright,_

_The first star I see tonight,_

_I wish I may, I wish I might,_

_Have the wish I wish tonight._


	34. Ch34 - Fickle Foe, Chemist, Mystery

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

The Fickle Foe

A fanatic fool stood by the pool,

Sing heigh ho, the fickle foe,

Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho,

While John and Sherlock kept their cool.

Sing heigh ho, the fickle foe,

Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho.

~o~

Foe repeated threats of woe,

Sing heigh ho, the fickle foe,

Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho,

A look, a nod, o're fickle foe,

Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho.

~o~

Moriarty tried but missed his mark,

Sing heigh ho, the fickle foe,

Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho,

Friend's hearts unscathed by such a lark.

Sing heigh ho, the fickle foe,

Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho.

* * *

_Based on a rather odd nursery rhyme called 'The Carrion Crow'_

_A carrion crow sat on an oak,_

_Sing heigh ho, the carrion crow,_

_Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho,_

_Watching a tailor shape his coat._

_Sing heigh ho, the carrion crow,_

_Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho._

_ ~o~_

_Wife, bring me my old bent bow,_

_Sing heigh ho, the carrion crow,_

_Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho_

_That I may shoot yon carrion crow._

_Sing heigh ho, the carrion crow,_

_Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho._

_~o~_

_The tailor he shot and missed his mark,_

_Sing heigh ho, the carrion crow,_

_Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho,_

_And shot his own sow right through the heart._

_Sing heigh ho, the carrion crow,_

_Fol de riddle, lol de riddle, hi ding ho_.

* * *

A Tallish Young Chemist

A tallish young chemist

Content at his perch,

Working in solo

Intent in his search

Till a doc came by

With a cane as assist:

Says he, "I am John,"

Exposing tell-tale wrist.

~o~

A doctor, not research;

Wounded, yet eyes unafraid;

An enigma beyond any grand church,

Of destiny made.

Says the tallish young chemist,

"A soldier I see,"

Then spinning round called,

"It's 2-2-1-B!"

* * *

_a/n: based on another children's rhyme, 'A Little Cock Sparrow'_

_A Little Cock Sparrow_

_Sat on a tree,_

_Looking as happy_

_As happy could be,_

_Till a boy came by_

_With his bow and arrow:_

_Says he, "I will shoot_

_The little cock sparrow"_

_"His body will make me_

_A nice little stew,_

_And his giblets will make me_

_A little pie too."_

_Says the little cock sparrow,_

_"I'll be shot if I stay,"_

_So he Clapped his wings_

_And then flew away._

* * *

"Some, and not the least interesting, were complete failures, and as such will hardly bear narrating, since no final explanation is forthcoming. A problem without a solution may interest the student, but can hardly fail to annoy the casual reader." JW in The Problem of Thor Bridge

~o~

A Mystery Answer

A mystery without answer

Is like the plague or a cancer

And when cancer begins to grow

It's like a fungus of one's toe

~o~

And when the toe begins to rot

It's like a scar, an ugly blot

And ne'er the scar will go away

It's like a curse of endless stay

~o~

And when the curse begins its chant

It's like a serpent on a rant

And when the rant begins to fade

It's like a ghostly everglade

~o~

And when the glade begins to bind

It's like a question in your mind

And when your mind begins to ask

You're back to mystery solving task.

* * *

_a/n: Another nursery rhyme that I'd not heard of until recently, "A Man of Words"._

_A man of words and not of deeds_

_Is like a garden full of weeds_

_And when the weeds begin to grow_

_It's like a garden full of snow_

_And when the snow begins to fall_

_It's like a bird upon the wall_

_And when the bird away does fly_

_It's like an eagle in the sky_

_And when the sky begins to roar_

_It's like a lion at the door_

_And when the door begins to crack_

_It's like a stick across your back_

_And when your back begins to smart_

_It's like a penknife in your heart_

_And when your heart begins to bleed_

_You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed._


	35. Ch 35 - 4 in 1

**A/N: Once again, obscure nursery rhymes have provided a solution to the perennial problem of _how to while away these bleak autumnal evenings_*. (and, yes, I realise it's not autumn but feels like it in my imagination so that's close enough).**

*The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor, ACD.

* * *

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

_**Good Night**_

**Mystery fans, good night, sleep tight,**

**Sherlock naps, at last, in chair;**

**If you wake him, twould be spite,**

**For John, this once, has no care.**

**Softly tiptoe! Let them be,**

**Thieves may steal; criminals flee.**

**But never fear, all in time,**

**Dawn will come for solving crime**.

~o~

Baby dear, good night, good night,

Doggie lies in slumbers deep;

Hush-a-bye, my treasure bright,

Pussy, too, is fast asleep.

Don't you wake them! If you do,

Pups will bark, and Puss will mew.

Go to sleep, and never fear,

Mother will call when morning's near.

* * *

_**Old Cases**__**, **_POV: Lestrade

**Old case to crack**

**New case to crack;**

**If I'd as much brain**

**As Holmes can pack,**

**I never would cry,**

**"Help, case to crack!"**

~o~

Old chairs to mend

Old chairs to mend;

If I'd as much money

As I could spend,

I never would cry

"Old chairs to mend"

~o~

* * *

_**Mycroft's Tea**_

**Oh, Pillykin, Willykin, Winky Wee!**

**How does dear Mycroft take his tea?**

**He takes it with gentry and not at the pub,**

**He takes it with silence in Diogene's Club;**

**He takes it therefore and he takes it therein,**

**Oh, Pinky-doodle and Jollapin**!

~o~

_A/N: An American rhyme by Laura E. Richards that according to legend was often read by President Theodore Roosevelt to his two children._

Oh, Pillykin, Willykin, Winky Wee!

How does the President take his tea?

He takes it with melons, he takes it with milk,

He takes it with syrup and sassafras silk;

He takes it without and he takes it within,

Oh, Pinky-doodle and Jollapin!

~o~

* * *

**Sally**

**Sally sharp Owl**

**Put on a fierce scowl,**

**And in a surprising shot**

**Matched Sherlock's growl.**

**~o~ **

**"You're all so obtuse;**

**Men are such a pain,**

**And those who annoy me not**

**Are dead, I deign."**

~o~

Pussy cat Mole

Jumped over a coal,

And in her best petticoat

Burnt a great hole.

Poor pussy's weeping

She'll have no more milk

Until her best petticoat's

Mended with silk.

~o~


	36. Ch 36 - Miscellaneous

Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors.

* * *

**Come**

**"Come," said Sherlock,**

**"If convenient or not;**

**I'd like you to text**

**An important thought.**

**~o~ **

**I've walked all the alleys,**

**And searched every angle,**

**And now I've a clue**

**Out of a tangle."**

** ~o~**

**"Hold on!" spoke up John,**

**"You called me to come here,**

**To type on your phone -**

**That's crazy, you hear?"**

** ~o~**

**"Oh come," drawled Sherlock,**

**"I can't use my phone.**

**"He waved a lithe hand,**

**And John gave a groan."**

** ~o~**

**"Type!" said Sherlock.**

~0~

"Croak!" said the toad,

"I'm hungry, I think;

Today I've had nothing

To eat or to drink.

I'll crawl to a garden

And jump through the *pales,

And there I'll dine nicely

On slugs and on snails."

"Ho, ho!" quoth the frog,

"Is that what you mean?

Then I'll hop away to

The next meadow stream;

There I will drink, and

Eat worms and slugs too,

And then I shall have a

Good dinner like you."

"Croak!" said the Toad

* * *

**Twisty Twiney**

**One twisty, twiney, twilight,**

**When trouble filled their sphere,**

**One woman and two men,**

**Twiddled into fear.**

** ~o~**

**Twiddled into fear,**

**Still Holmes will find the devil's trail.**

**"I followed you."**

**"But I didn't see you."**

**"That's because I followed you*."**

_*quote from The Devil's Foot, ACD_

~0~

One misty, moisty, morning,

When cloudy was the weather,

There I met an old man

All clothed in leather

All clothed in leather,

With a cap under his chin.

How do you do?

And how do you do?

And how do you do again?

* * *

**See a Snake**

**See a snake, like a band**

**Beware if you've a whip in hand!**

**See five pips come in the mail;**

**A shorter life may soon entail.**

** ~o~**

**Lock of hair, red like yours**

**A secret girl behind closed doors.**

**Dirty knees on store clerk,**

**A bank thief is caught at work.**

**~o~ **

**Under rug, a second stain,**

**A trifle gives them hope again.**

**Words on wall, writ in blood,**

**Old lover caught with a thud.**

~0~

See a pin and pick it up,

All the day you'll have good luck;

See a pin and let it lay,

Bad luck you'll have all the day.

* * *

**Consult Detective**

**Consult Detective was dressed in sheet clean;**

**Consult Detective was sent to the Queen.**

**The Queen did not see him,**

**But Mycroft was keen;**

**And Consult Detective was sent to Irene.**

**OR**

**Consult Detective was dressed in sheet clean;**

**Consult Detective was sent to the Queen.**

**The Queen did not see him,**

**But Mycroft was mean;**

**And Consult Detective was almost all seen.**

~0~

A/N: Couldn't decide which of the two versions above I liked better. It was a toss up - so put them both. Which do you prefer? Actual rhyme refers to _Richard, Duke of York (1411–1460) who was Protector of England for a short while until King Henry VI recovered from his insanity and he had a son with his wife, Queen Margaret of Anjou. And this poem is especially i__n honour of Hector the cat who continues in his reign as protector of an immature but charming kitten!_

Hector Protector was dressed all in green;

Hector Protector was sent to the Queen.

The Queen did not like him,

Nor more did the King;

So Hector Protector was sent back again.

* * *

**Dancing Men**

**Dancing men silly!**

**Out on the lawn**

**With a message ill-omened,**

**He'll not see another dawn.**

**Dancing men silly!**

~0~

Daffy-down-Dilly

Has come to town

With a yellow petticoat

And a pretty green gown

Daffy-down-Dilly.

* * *

**Go to bed first, a single curse;**

**Go to bed second, a double presence;**

**Go to bed third, a triple inferred!**

** ~0~**

Go to bed first, a golden purse;

Go to bed second, a golden pheasant;

Go to bed third, a golden bird.


	37. Ch 37 - Irene and Friends

**A/N: Just a few ancient nursery rhymes that amuse me both in their original and altered forms. Written at all hours of the day or night. They make me smile so I share them here. For entertainment purposes only - if you want actual poetry of the instructive variety worth studying... I suggest you check out mrspencil :-)**

* * *

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Woman of Skin**

**Irene flits in**

**All dressed to win,**

**She tricked Sherlock, pierced his skin;**

**But he came to,**

**And solved the clue,**

**She made a mistake,**

**Perhaps for love's sake?**

**Is this the end for woman in skin?**

**~o~**

Corporal Tim

Was dressed so trim,

He thought them all afraid of him;

But sad to say,

The very first day,

We had a fight,

He died of fright,

And that was the end of Corporal Tim**.**

~o~

**The Consult of London**

**Hey diddle dinkety, poppety, pu,**

**The Consult of London he wears a scarf blue;**

**Silk in his shirt and latex free glove,**

**He searches crime scene in style thereof.**

~o~

Hey diddle dinkety, poppety, pet,

The Merchants of London they wear scarlet;

Silk in the collar and gold in the hem,

So merrily march the merchant men

~o~

**Three Odd Men**

**Three odd men named Garrideb**

**One shot Watson taking aim:**

**And if his aim had shot and killed**

**Garrideb blood would I have spilled**

~o~

Three wise men of Gotham

Went to sea in a bowl:

And if the bowl had been stronger

My song would have been longer

~o~

**A Proud Consultant**

**There was a proud consultant,**

**Who, being proud, was exultant;**

**He often spoke with scorn and sneer,**

**And never thought he'd friend a peer.**

**~x~**

**When on a case he'd spend the day;**

**In solving case he'd chase away;**

**And while he solved, as I do know,**

**He ne'er behaved for friend or foe.**

**~x~ **

**He oft disturbed, and sometimes mocked,**

**And when disturbed, he often shocked.**

**Though ne'er credited with a heart,**

**He knew with John he'd found fresh start.**

**~x~**

**One day, though I'm not certain,**

**He took a fall and closed the curtain;**

**And since I saw it with mine eyes,**

**He haunts my dream when'er John cries.**

~o~

There was a little guinea-pig,

Who, being little, was not big;

He always walked upon his feet,

And never fasted when he eat.

When from a place he run away,

He never at the place did stay;

And while he run, as I am told,

He ne'er stood still for young or old.

He often squeaked, and sometimes violent,

And when he squeaked he ne'er was silent.

Though ne'er instructed by a cat,

He knew a mouse was not a rat.

One day, as I am certified,

He took a whim and fairly died;

And as I am told by men of sense,

He never has been living since.


	38. Ch 38 - Logical Poetry?

_Disclaimer: Sherlock, John, and related characters do not belong to me. Copyrights on the nursery rhymes that form the framework for my ramblings are long since lost along with the original authors._

* * *

**Science and Friends**

**Observation, fact, and reason**

**Guide my trade in every season;**

**Science proves my theories true,**

**One plus one is always two;**

**But mystery never ends**

**In relationship and friends.**

~o~

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John

Guard the bed that I lie on:

Four corners to my bed

Four angels round my head,

One to watch and one to pray

And two to bear my soul away.

~o~

**A Fan Fiction Week**

**Work on Monday**

**Blog on Tuesday**

**Write on Wednesday**

**Type on Thursday**

**Beta on Friday**

**Edit on Saturday**

**Post on Fan Fic every Sunday**

~o~

Wash on Monday,

Iron on Tuesday,

Bake on Wednesday,

Brew on Thursday,

Churn on Friday,

Mend on Saturday,

Go to meeting on Sunday.

~o~

**Moriarty Plays**

**I love Sherlock genius,**

**His coat might be long,**

**But if I plan it well,**

**He'll play right along.**

**~x~ **

**So I'll not shoot him now,**

**Nor wrap him too tight,**

**This Sherlock and I,**

**Mind to mind must fight.**

~o~

I love little pussy,

Her coat is so warm,

And if I don't hurt her,

She'll do me no harm.

So I'll not pull her tail,

Nor drive her away,

But pussy and I,

Very gently will play.

~o~

**Logic, Reason, Friend **

**I love logic, certain, correct logic,**

**I love logic as a friend.**

**I find the culprit by it, I solve the puzzle by it,**

**I love logic, solid fact to apprehend. **

**~x~**

**I love reason, proper, cunning, reason,**

**I love reason as a friend.**

**I banish feelings by it, I leave emotions by it, **

**I love reason, a thing I recommend.**

**~x~**

**I have one friend, not more, not less, one friend,**

**I have just one as a friend.**

**I cannot comprehend it, I cannot explicate it,**

**I have one friend, here logic, reason end.**

**~o~**

I love sixpence, jolly, jolly, sixpence,

I love sixpence as my life.

I spent a penny of it, I spent a penny of it,

I took a penny home to my wife.

I love fourpence, jolly, jolly fourpence,

I love fourpence as my life.

I spent twopence of it, I spent twopence of it,

I took twopence home to my wife.

I have nothing, jolly, jolly nothing

I love nothing as my life.

I spent nothing of it, I spent nothing of it,

I took nothing home to my wife.

~o~

**A Drug Bust**

**Lestrade with willing team**

**On drugs bust searched quite hard,**

**It was a fruitless little game.**

**~x~**

**He found but thumbs on ice**

**Eyeballs 'nuked once or twice,**

**And other parts without a name -**

**~x~**

**Lestrade and team were never quite the same…**

~o~

Little Polly Flinders

Sat among the cinders,

Warming her pretty little toes.

Mother came and caught her,

And whipped her little daughter

For spoiling her nice new clothes.


	39. Ch 39 - The Game

**a/n: rhyme is in honour of AOB. Congratulations! When she mentioned celebrating by watching The Great Game episode... well, this is the result of her inspiration. As for the rhyming pattern... it's all mrspencil's fault. I hadn't read a poem in years until I met her on FF. So... choose your FF friends carefully; you never know what could happen! LOL!**

* * *

The Game

It's a game -

Nothing more than sport.

Mind to mind,

Don't be blind;

Caring isn't helping them

Sherlock did retort.

~ooo~

Life and death

Hover over them,

Bombs tick tock;

Must unlock

The crime's correct solution,

Or time shall condemn.

~ooo~

Human chess

But Sherlock likes it,

A puzzle

Gun muzzle,

Life's no longer boring him.

This game he'll not quit.

~ooo~

Pawns they fall,

Sherlock's now winning.

One by one,

Game is won,

Except for that last caller –

Bombs sent her spinning.

~ooo~

Almost done

Sherlock boldly moves.

Makes mistake,

Can't out-snake

The killer-play of his foe;

No victory he proves.

~ooo~

John is caught

In Mor'arty's net.

Burn your heart

Tear apart;

Now the game has gone too far

Sherlock makes a threat.

~ooo~

No more games

The fun is ended.

Let him go

Evil foe,

Yet madman only chuckles -

The angst is splendid.

~ooo~

Who will win

This deadly stalemate?

Will John live?

Who will give?

A game of chess, hearts at stake -

Till next season, wait.

~ooo~

**Aren't you glad you don't have to wait until season 2? Sadly, season three is still a long way off.**


End file.
